Your dad traveled the world before you did and there’s a  jar of Egyptian  sand in your house to prove it. He was an ambassador of  badassery who  traveled the world and left a wake trail of debauchery  behind him. He didn’t know the local languages, but the local  ladies never  seemed to mind. He spoke in a tongue of pulse racing,  butterfly giving,  universal seduction. It was a mix of cross cultural  body sign language  and snake charming. It can’t be taught and  you sure as hell didn’t  inherit it. So hipsters, next time  you’re planning a self entitle summer abroad  on  dad’s dime and claiming that it’s necessary for your  liberal arts  major, remember this…The foreign girl in the  bar that you’re  attempting to seduce with a toddlers  comprehension of the local  language is probably your long lost sister  from dad’s party past.  Big thanks to HurryKid for the photo.


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